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Showing posts from April, 2011

how i hope....but....

how i hope im a superwomen ~ fly around the world and get my freedom~ save ppl and get happiness.... how i hope i never born like a angle staying heaven, no more worries and no more pain~ how i hope there is a person~ we're nt couple but better than that~ listen my sound of heart and giving comfort, bringing me out and make me smile. but im not a superwomen nor powerpuffgirls. im just a normal humanbeing~ staying in this world and facing all reality sewing brokenheart alone but no one know but im now born and live a life in this world. ain't an angle nor fairy. this is real but nt fairy tales, everythings is getting more and more complicated out of control the person is thr but he not done his part we're more than just a couple but bro and sis he listen to my story n comfort, but thats doesnt enough to heal my soul.

im really hurt , not less than yours

im so hurt, even if we are nt fren anymore but y you wan to say it like tat at fb? i really so make you 讨厌? wat you say is like scolding a person last time your case v jxsxxx , and also scolding the aBc and also the Xvy~ am i such person in your eyes? although i may done sth wrong but im your fren for 8 yrs ady lar i treat you with my full heart and never say you like tat 。 "wtf tat person bf .........ppl wan to break v her ....protect her " tat post you;re saying like you dont noe me and simply scold someone you all hate lar and you hate me now y you make my whole world bcum none? dada ? emily?and? alysar? xiao xuan? eunice? slowlly evelyn yong blablabla all those ppl hate me and anti me ? wat i done oso nt terrible like this lar i really donnoe y you can say till like this i noe i have wrong along this 1year n more~ but everyone had done wrong before, why you can say like this? like make the whole world together anti me? fine ~ this is last year we go...

比心如刀割,更痛! 

你说我不在乎? 我没有一次跟任何一个男友分手哭得比每一次跟你吵架跟你翻脸更伤心。 心如刀割, 还没有比想要狠狠地弄伤自己来的更难过!  我不知道我们自己的平衡 标准 在那里? 你每次说话说到再粗在过分, 无端端走街一直骂我贱人,不如去死? 就算是伤心, 我还一直告诉自己这只是朋友之间的玩笑, 没有什么。  并非只有你有感情, 除了亲人? 你以为我心里还有谁比你这个人 重要 吗? 你随随便便说你想要那钱包你知道我去看了几次吗? 我知道有时候你很忙要和你朋友, 我也知道自己参不进他们的, 所以就买好东西费事自己等下要饿肚子不能吗? 你早上那么生气,  我当然会认为你中午不可能再来找我, 买好东西给自己有错吗? 也许我说话不经大脑, 但那是因为我面对的是你, 我天真的以为朋友都是那样, 真, 不需要我伪装对你多好。 对不起我太天真。 你也说过不少伤我的话, 我都告诉自己你就是那样要说什么就直接说的人, 不会怪你,更不会记住。 没想到换来的却是这样。 我真的不知道自己能做什么? 如果,你认为我们缘分真的那样就尽了话, 我不会怪你,不会勉强你,不会再烦你。 只怪自己不会做人。 17 岁了才知道原来自己一直都那么不会做人。 真是可笑。 可耻。 让我一个人,  独自反省。

feeling like wannt put some hurt and wounds on myself

what i can do?  拿白开水当酒灌自己?  我真是不明白~  所有事情, 并不是单方面的~  我决定  好好的谈!  不管怎样~  做了再算!

是谁 夺走了我的笑颜

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是谁   夺走了我的笑颜。 有时候, 看见他, 有种说不出的心痛。 只能怪自己   过去太愚昧。 有时候, 多奢望,  彼此还能够友好。 只怪自己~ 太天真。 也许在我拿着刀, 刺伤别人的同时, 刀的另外一边~  也深深刺向了自己。 伤口慢慢愈合, 不在隐隐作痛, 但明显的伤痕, 却像刺青, 一刺, 就是永远   抹不去。 是谁   夺走我的笑颜, 让我找不回    爱笑的自己。 今天在学校下半段的时间, 我都是静静的一个人过。 不想多说什么, 更不想回答什么。 沉淀一下自己, 放飞一下思绪。 不要把自己逼得太辛苦。

24/apr/11

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今天早上去跑步来, 感觉自己变健康了一点点~ 但是该死的鼻子还是伤风, 该死的喉咙依然痛~ 发热气, 喝多点水就okay 的啦~ 要去补习了~~~~ 下><

22/04/11 good friday!

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my sleep is nt really good for this good friday~ headache and hear pain there pain till wake up~ din even saw a msg from him-.- for back up~ i on FB and Ko min say lets out together. rush to prepare myself because bro is leaving! finally i get to Ko min hse~ SKIPPED~ arrived! i had been a long time din go to one borneo already! and we can't find NewYork NewYork! so Ko min call her bro and i call my bro and asked! Found and eat there!  we were wasted so many food! im just too full to finish up! give up! went to PDI !!! ss in the fitting room! bought many shirts! then we went to Roxy and found nothing nice and suited us! is price problem or the goods nt worth the price? i thk it is just the Roxy logo cost high price! so after that, we finally went to MANGO ss again~ she cant decide which to buy~ XD and when they have gone~ i watched 2 movie alone~ without taking my lunch~ i was so hungry and now too! finally the time come to 9.00pm went to bro shop and w...

明天放假

明天放假!!  明天放假!! 可以睡迟迟~  tats all~ =.= 

17岁了。

现在,我是正式的17岁了。 需要一点刺激~ 让我不能不减肥。 17岁了,不再是小孩子。 当然要show 到最好给人家看。 不然老了, 没机会。 17岁了,要学会打扮, 更要学会如何做人处事, 学习微笑, 融入人群。 希望自己能做到最好。 我自私, 我只爱自己。

FUCK SHIT 17-TEEN

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK SHIT SEVENTEEN!!!!! worst starting and it told me i would have a worst year in life~~~ i hate it so much~ happy birthday? fuck off!~~ how can i be happy? if you are me ? think of it~ i feel like killing someone now! i feel like wanna drug so much now~~ im stressful and fucking tired but still need to force my dizzy eyes to stare on the stupid pass away sejarah~ i hate it~ do not walk near to be or else you will involve in a murder ! im just too dangerous now~ unstable emotion!!! shit you seventeen! why dont you come to me slowly? i hate you !!!!

16岁最后一天。

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 贪吃贪吃贪吃~~~ 越吃就越肥~ 明天的我,不再是16岁了。 没有什么特别的感觉。 也许因为没有庆祝, 所以没有气氛? 没有那个生日的心情? 对我来说,什么大日子都不是很重要。 什么纪念日,有什么意义? 生日?有什么特别?每年都有。 也许我这叫不懂情趣。 说真的, 我就是没有情趣。 糟~ - - - - 我是无聊呆板的人。

movie combo with buddys sopos

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拿张照片来吓人?? 哈哈~ 我们在拍历史的project, 拍关于Mat Salleh 怎样对抗英国人。 然后我和丽洁还有毅恩在这场戏里饰演平民~ 哈哈~~ 话不多说, 看照片就知道很丑了~ 真的是丑角。 过后飘去了逛街看电影, 看了两场蛮恶心又恐怖的电影, 鬼也笑 和 Scream4 thanks buddys sopo for spending a whale of time with me~ i like to ss with you guys XD funny~~~~ 鬼也笑谁说不恐怖~ 有些画面还是很吓人的。 他们的脸都很vui 的弄到~ 反而我觉得Scream 比较好~ 因为他只是杀人, 没有鬼~~  

emotion float

actually i have a lot of things to blog~ but after chating with some friend~and some with nt very friend, and some listener~ i have less to write ~ what is your feeling when you saw ur exbf walk hand in hand with another like 100th girl? i just can't understand what is his good condition to make so many girl fall for him. but im nt jealous of course. because i had walked through all this and felt great that i had passed all these fucking memories. why girls always can't realise the bad of the guy? haha..just wish them good luck?? but story and narrative will totally in different way if as these characters change to another one, what can i say? only 你还真是不甘寂寞啊~ haiz after back home~ mood suddenly turn down~~~ like the radio channel changing from the high song to the soft emo song~ i really donnoe why~ maybe i found that it is to be regretted that my sixteen passed too black n white and meaningless~ dont made much friend, dont get enough fun which a teenage should...

倒数正在进行

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今天~ 还是一样的 心态 去上学。 想着迷迷糊糊随随便便, 就那样过一天, 安稳   但浪费。 对繁重的课业, 我不是 有心无力 而是连心也没有。 总觉得不用那么急着读, 但 时间迫在眉前   一天天过去      倒数正在进行~  我看我 还剩不到 2个一百天? 放学后  我把等车这动作 当成了训练和培养耐心的课程。 酷暑炎热的艳阳下 平静地坐着  开始看似无穷尽的等待。 当看见一辆接一辆类似的车子经过 只给了我的心一次又一次的失望。 我告诉自己:“不打电话, 给他们一个机会 记起该来接我” 因为打了电话,就说明是他们把我给忘了, 那样他们会倍感内疚。 结果就这样 等了 接近1小时 。 去补习时,跟老师还有可晴姐去见一个 高人 。 他个子不高, 但可见是学识渊博。 他是一个高收费的著名英文升学水平补习老师。 跟他补习啊, 一小时100块!  一次一定要3个小时。 就是说如果要10 个课(lesson) 就要花上3 千块了~~~ 倒不如拿去做新车的头期款(downpayment) 资金。 不过他的书橱还真是琳琅满目。 让我看见了一点点 未来的方向。 ACCA ~~他竟然有第一本到第八本~ 因为那就是他女儿正在从事的行业。 还有很多关于 account 类的subject 的书。 而且他有我喜欢的相机款式!! canon 500D ~ whatever~ 回到来补习了~ 就没有做到bookeeping~ 因为一直在问老师关于那个 Taylor's Accounting Qiuz 资料上的东西。 真的很难。 被骗了。 那些英文字, 单个看已经不是很懂了  还要连在一起  弄得我都不懂整个句子说什么了。 just could barely manage on it~ 看来是真的要放点心思去读了 28号就考了,虽然是没有想要拿什么前几名, 但 总不能随便乱圈答案, 就拿别人的Certificate 吧~  【加油,我可以的,我相信】

只剩4天

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又是一个星期五, 距离上一个炎热的星期五, 就好像只过了两三天。 细雨绵绵,独自 一个人 在家。 唯一能解闷的----上网。 还有四天, 我的16岁 只剩 下 4 天 。 岁月年华似水, 无情的溜走。 我不是在感叹自己老了, 只是在即将面对的压力和责任面前, 显 弱 。 很快的, 随着年级的增长, 身上所背负的 枷锁 和无形的行李箱会越来越重。 但愿在将来人生的路上, 能一路走好。 4天,我想说去做完所有16岁想做的事。 但却 没有 这个能力, 没有这个批准, 也没有什么人的 陪伴 。 ~随他吧~

梦境与现实的错乱

感觉自己最近是活在梦境与现实的错乱间。 发梦是以为是真实,真实的却以为是在做梦。 因为这样,让到我感觉身体很疲惫不堪。 动作变慢了,不单止这样,脑部运转也慢 了。 刚才来到补习中心这里, 想说要开电脑来玩~ 结果滑鼠动不了,看它地下的红外线灯还着, 应该不是没有链接好的问题吧,应该是滑鼠坏了。 结果跑到附近看看有没有商店卖滑鼠, 然而卖电话零件和批发商的就一大堆。 走遍铁鞋无觅出,终于给我找到一间。 但是那两位小姐看起来很lcly,不想给他生意做。 突然跑去了一品屋(店名)买龟苓膏~ 吃到一半老妈走进office 跟我讲有买麦当劳给我~~~ 平时讲要又不买,现在我吃那么多东西了才来买, 你是想要肥死我是吗? 电脑突然好了。 [我知道后面写得很敷衍,不过也没有人会看,管他] 

少上线,什么都不知。

最近我真的很少很少上网, 有空当然上部落格自言自语啦, 谁还有空去看面子书, 所以很多面子书上别人要我看的, 还是什么最新消息我一概不知道。 然后给你知道一下, 你做到很明显啦~ (你知道你是谁的啦)  我要继续扮懵懂~ 最近功课也没有讲特别多, 因为没有差啦,我在家都很少有动那些功课, 不过不知怎么的就一直感觉特别的累。 lai 啊~~~ 可能要17岁了老了没有精力了。 该走了, 改天有时间和精力再继续写, 还好没有人问 感情问题。

1-10

1. 一个人总要走陌生的路,看陌生的风景,听陌生的歌,然后在某个不经意的瞬间,你会发现,原本是费尽心机想要忘记的事情真的就那么忘记了。 One is always on a strange road, watching strange scenery and listeningto strange music. Then one day, you will find that the things you tryhard to forget are already gone. 2.幸福,不是长生不老,不是大鱼大肉,不是权倾朝野。幸福是每一个微小的生活愿望达成。当你想吃的时候有得吃,想被爱的时候有人来爱你。 Happiness is not about being immortal nor having food or rights inone's hand. It’s about having each tiny wish come true, or havingsomething to eat when you are hungry or having someone's love when youneed love. 3. 爱情是灯,友情是影子,当灯灭了,你会发现你的周围都是影子。朋友,是在最后可以给你力量的人。 Love is a lamp, while friendship is the shadow. When the lamp is off,you will find the shadow everywhere. Friend is who can give youstrength at last. 4. 我爱你不是因为你是谁,而是我在你面前可以是谁。 I love you not for who you are, but for who I am before you. 5. 爱情,要么让人成熟,要么让人堕落。 Love makes man grow up or sink down. 6. 举得起放得下的叫举重,举得起放不下的叫负重。可惜,大多数人的爱情,都是负重的。 If you can hold something up and put it down, it is calledweig...

美/丑?

刚才没事做在家看电视, 看钻石夜总会, 看见两个 丑女变身美女的化妆技术 , 真的叹为观止, 虽然这一集我看过了,还是想要看~ 然后去找到其中一个女生的无名, 这次有救了, 我有救了 ~  哈哈 虽然很多人口口声声说什么最讨厌人家靠化妆,靠p图(edit)  但是,不能否认,这些技术真的还给了天生不怎么完美的女生,他的信心~  因为社会永远是现实的, 当你是老板,两位品格好,成绩一样好的女生来应征, 怎么那个比较漂亮的被录取呢? 这时有些人就会说,因为那个比较合眼缘。 长得不漂亮难道就要永远被人抛在后头? 所以才有人发明了化妆品, 让他们重拾信心~ 被大家容纳和接受。

UNTITILE

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最近蛮累的,没有那么多废话讲了, 所以听到我说废话的人,应该开始珍惜了, 说不定我人慢慢长大就不会再那样说废话给你听了~  堆得山那样高的功课, 填得 海那样深的作业, 谁不希望你们人间蒸发? 最近的我, 真的是sibeh 的肥~ 跟自己说好不吃午餐不吃零食不吃晚餐, 没有一样能做到, 不过一步一步来, 我相信我很快就会瘦回去, 为了瘦,我不惜一切代价的。 管他娘谁阻止我。 先这样~  无聊两字,就是我每个星期重复的生活。 星期天? 你们真的能够出再讲啦~ 

Little Italy again~ =)

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my hair is getting longer and longer~ which is a good sign for me =) today went sch as usual as every saturday~ finished school at 12.40pm... back home and home alone for about half hour only. Then,dad and mom have back home from sipitang ~ sent daddy to airport and go to mommy office play computer game~LAME~ 'plants vs zombies' after that mommy say she was so so so hungry and we heading to find something to eat~ finally we went to Little Italy for the belated belanja her for her bday~ she said she was nt impressed on her birthday yesterday . she keep "fat lan zha " to me in the car. she said daddy din date her for a dinner and nt even say a 'happy birthday to her' and so her sons ... when she asked daddy whether he want to follow to sipitang or nt daddy answered he wont be here(kk) if he no need to go sipitang( mom's kampung) mommy said she was sad to heard that because daddy came kk just for go sipitang but nt for celebrate her bday w...