god, am i really don't deserve?

Hi, why am i feeling so down?
is it because of finally realize that im so lonely?
here my loneliness doesn't mean by single in relationship and longing for a boyfriend,
but, feel so empty that if the boyfriend is unavailable,
im just nobody for everyone.
im not belong to a group of friend,
i have no specific friends to hang out and have meals together, i have no colleagues that really close in university.
my best friends have their own group of friends, and thats their best friend,
of me, who am i ? NOBODY.

am i so worst? am i not deserve real friend in real life ?
i do nothing but why its just so unfair?
somebody just lies here and there , so realistic and self-centered can also have friends!

is it because the boyfriend matter?
do you think after having boyfriend i dont deserve for friends?


is it problem with me ? if yes, why nobody tell me?
i treat everyone so real hearted, but also endup like this,
even my hi-bye friend can so less!

i really don't know whats problem with me ~~~
maybe this is so called life, constructed by god and i can't change the fact that, im not charming, not pretty, not intelligence and have not helpful in people's eyes.






by, the emo girl....